Nail Avulsion

Last week wasn’t the best week…I decided to go out for a run since it was a nice morning. Everything was going well, and I was on pace for my best run. Then I hit a section of uneven sidewalk and tripped…it was a hard fall! 

I had some decent abrasions on the back of my right hand, jammed up that thumb, and tore off a fingernail! Not sure how I fell or landed…it happened so fast. I also managed to bruise up my right knee. 

A lady walking her dog saw me and stopped to ask if i was okay or if she should do anything for me. There wasn’t anything for her to do, I could still walk so I walked home. 

As I was walking up the stairs to my condo a neighbor saw my bleeding hand and asked if there was anything he could do. I said that i was fine, just going home to see what i had to clean my wounds with. He had hydrogen peroxide that I could use so I borrowed that. 

After I had cleaned my hand I wanted to bandage it for a little since I needed to go buy a new phone, but I was having trouble doing that with one hand. I went and knocked on another neighbors door and got help bandaging up my hand. That night my hand throbbed, and was swollen and bruised. I could move all my fingers and joints so I knew nothing was broken, it was just hard with the swelling. 

I eventually made it to the store to get a new phone, I wanted to get the same model I had since I loved it…but Apple is no longer making that model so I had to get a different one which is sad, but there was no way to fix my phone. The screen is completely shattered and won’t do  anything, plus it no longer lays flat on any surface. While I was at the store the sales guy asked if I was okay, and wanted to make sure that no-one hurt me intentionally. 

I shattered my phone, nothing would show up on the screen...
I could also rock it on a flat surface

The next day I did decide to go to the local Urgent Care since my finger was still oozing. I wasn't sure how long the nail bed would continue to oozing, and my finger was really bruised and swollen. I could sort move it, and still had full sensation so I wasn't to worried about but I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to get it checked out. It was fine, I'd done everything I needed to except give it time. 

The PA I saw did a nice job with the dressing.

It took several days, but the swelling has gone down and my hand is finally back to normal size. The abrasions have scabbed over but some of them were pretty deep so it’ll take awhile for them to heal. My nail bed is finally starting to dry out and toughen up. Each day I’m able to do a little more than the day before.

Why do fingernails take so long to grow back?

Wonder how long it's going to take for the abrasions to heal.

For all the craziness of 2020 and social distancing I was encouraged. There were complete strangers that helped me out, or at least offered to help. I’ve gotten so use to avoiding people, or people avoiding me that I sometimes forget people can actually care about a stranger on the street. 

Great Falls National Park

At the end of October I finished up my contract at Inova Fairfax. It was weird saying goodbye a second time…it really felt like it had become my home unit since I’ve spent so much time there. Especially after working through a pandemic with them, there were many rough and exhausting days. 

I did make it to Great Falls National Park before I left this time. It’s amazing, the Virginia side is nice, but I personally think the Maryland side is better. It’s more walking (but really easy), to get to falls on the Maryland side, but you get to see smaller waterfalls on your way to the large one. I love waterfalls, so I think that’s why I like the Maryland side more. 

The Virginia side of the falls

One of the smaller falls you pass on the Maryland side 

The Falls from the Maryland side

While taking time to enjoy the waterfalls, I also spent some time playing with my camera and various shutter and aperture settings which I haven’t done in a while, so that was fun. I have a lot of okay pictures from that day, but there are a few which I’m happy with. 

Maryland Side

One of the smaller falls, (playing with my shutter speed)

I spent so much time in the section of the park taking pictures and listening to the water, it was so relaxing and just amazing to be there

The next couple pictures are very similar frames, but they have very different shutter speeds which is what is so fun to play around with. The third picture is an even closer up of that same frame. 

One of my favorite pictures from this day

Now that I’m back home, I’m spending some time relaxing and working on a couple home projects as well as spending some time with family. There is part of me that misses work, but there is also a part of me that is finding this time to take a mental break and rejuvenate essential. I’m not sure what the next couple months are going to bring, heck I don’t even know what the next couple weeks are going to be like, but I'm working on things that I otherwise always seem to busy to complete. 

Long Overdue...

I have so many thought running through my head and I'm not sure how to organize them into this blog post. 

As I was glancing back at my older blogs, I noticed the one I wrote just after the first of the year...one of my questions asked "what will this year bring?" The year 2020 has been very different and difficult. As the pandemic hit and social distancing / isolation became the new normal my life seemed somewhat normal. I'm not an overly social person so I had a good reason to stay home, read, watch TV, and basically not feel guilty about not going out except for work. 

When my first travel contract of the year ended, I returned to Northern Virginia, in April, where Covid-19 was escalating. The number of new cases a day kept climbing, the ICU's where full of the basically Covid-19+ patients. The current number of cases in the hospital has drastically reduced. I'm happy to be getting back to caring for my normal patient population. 

The last 3 months have been really hard, and July was emotionally draining. I've been working through a pandemic and seeing some people get better while others don't can be discouraging. Not only that, I'm away from family and friends and am geographically isolated from my social support system, I'm not going to it's hard. I finally had a 2 week period where I didn't have to care for a Covid + patient, and so I was able to make to 3 hour drive to visit my sister and her family. It was amazing to be around family, to play with my nephews and just remember that something don't change. 

There are some good things that have happened. I've been doing better about getting outside and going for a run or walk, and started using the Crossrope system for exercise. I use to love to jump rope when I was younger, but I stopped at some point. Now I'm getting back into it using weighted jump ropes mixed with intervals of body weight exercise and rest. It's actually a lot more fun than running or going to the gym (for me)...I just take my ropes outside, and get in my workout while I'm enjoying some fresh air and sunshine. 

I love these jump ropes...I've been using them for a couple weeks now.

I've also been trying to explore some of the many National Parks in this area as things are starting to reopen again. It's a great way to enjoy the outdoors, see some amazing scenery, and often get some physical activity in with a hike or two.  

So far,  I've been to Shenandoah National Park:

 -The mountains are amazing, I've done some short hikes here to get to some of the views. 

Luray Caverns:

The Wishing Well

Harper's Ferry National Park:

Historic Lower Town

The view from the Maryland Overlook Trail

The view from the Maryland Overlook Trail

I hiked the around the park some, before completing the Maryland Overlook Trail. After it was all said and done, I'd hiked 7 miles and walked a total of 10 miles that day. I was pretty exhausted by the end of the day, and a little sunburnt. Overall, it was a great day, with some fantastic views. 

Persistence

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to one of my brothers about how I sometimes feel like a very unmotivated individual. I'm sure there are people that would disagree with me (my brother for one)... I don't know if I can fully explain what I mean.

For all the excitement and adventure that comes with travel nursing there are also some cons that come along too. One major one for me is mental and emotional exhaustion, being a very introverted person it is hard to open up and make new friends, I'm also very independent and so I don't always make an effort to get to know people. That leads to social isolation which does eventually wear me down, I might not love to be the center of attention but I still crave that connection with a community...I just don't always want to put in the effort required. 

Sometimes that isolation drives me to withdraw even more...the effort it would take to put myself out there seems overwhelming and then I feel unmotivated to do anything...even things that I would love to do that don't require leaving my apartment. 

There are days that I feel like my dreams are unrealistic and my goals are so far out of reach..yet I know in my head that if I work towards them a little each day I'll eventually get there. Small steps...as I continue to move forward I will slowly reach the goal...persistence is key!

per·sist·ence

noun

1. firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition

I think that is part of my problem...when things get difficult I'll give up without the encouragement of friends. When I look back at the difficult times I've had in my life there has always been someone there to encourage me to continue...to persevere. 

- As a teenager there was someone from church that I would often call and talk to. 

-When I wanted to leave nursing school because I thought it was to hard a couple of my classmates studied with me and wouldn't let me withdraw from my classes. 

-Then in Lancaster I meet two of my best friends who where there through some rough times...and lots of ice cream (one of my comfort foods). 

-When I left Lancaster and volunteered with Mercy Ships it was really challenging! Again, I ended up with one or two people who I felt like I could trust and opened up to them...those connections allowed me to complete my volunteer time. 

(that is not an extensive list)

Maybe that's one of the things I'm learning about myself through this experience. I've haven't dug deep and kept going for myself...and instead have relied on what others. It could be that I need to develop persistence for myself, and that's not easy! 

2020

2020 has arrived... 


The other day I sat in Panera with my journal and started thinking about what I'd like to accomplish in 2020. As I thought about it, I realized that I don't feel like I have a strong goal to strive for. It's kinda like, 'well, I keep saying that I want to do this but I haven't been serious about, it so maybe this year'...does that mean I'm aimlessly wondering through my own life? 

As I looked back over the last year, I realized that a year ago at this time I told my manager that I was looking into travel nursing and would be leaving when I got my first contract. I remember being stressed about the change and unsure if I was ready to take the plunge.  How I would feel after I started? What was the driving force behind that change? Is it my love of travel? Is it the constant change and movement that appeals to me? Is that just part of who I am? or am I running from something and I don't even realize what it is?

Or could it be something different, (the ripple effect), everything I do not only effects me, but the people around me. Does a short transient encounter with someone leave a lasting impact? 

2020: What will the year bring? Who will I meet? What experiences will stand out? What will the next decade bring? Where do I want to be? What do I hope to accomplish? What are my dreams? 

I feel like I have a lot more questions than answers right now. In a way, I'm okay with that, if I'd have all the answers I don't know that I would continue to search and grow as a person. Maybe I don't know where I'll be in 10 years or even where I want to be in 10 years, but to me that is part of the beauty of the journey of my life. I'm not forcing myself into something. 20 years ago I was in high-school and never had any desire to be a nurse, I had different plans. Obviously, things changed and I went to nursing school...even 10 years ago, I wouldn't have thought I'd be where I am today. 

I've had great experiences combined with lots of challenges, and have grown a lot over the course of the last 10 years. Ultimately, I think that is my goal, to continue to grow in my faith and allow that to influence my life. The growth process isn't always easy or even a pleasant experience to go through, it can be painful at times. Does the pain cause me to stop and stay where I'm at because it's too painful to continue? or do I keep moving even if it's slow? There are times that I've wanted to give up because I didn't think I could keep going. In those moments, I had people around me that encouraged me and so I persevered through. 

I don't expect the next 10 years to be easy, the last 10 years had both highs and lows, so I expect that to be the same in the next 10 years...life is a journey...

A journey of experiences.
A journey of pain.
A journey of joy.
A journey of happiness.
A journey of sorrow.
A journey of challenges.
A journey of growth.

The first page of my journal. 

Maybe I don't know where I'm going, or the impact I'll have on the people around me, or the impact they will have on me ... but that's the adventure!