Reflections

It’s hard to believe that I leave the ship in less than 3 weeks! Where has the time gone? After arriving in August, May felt so far away…how was I going to survive living in cramped spaces with people I didn’t know? Would I learn the differences of working here, for example: Tylenol is Paracetamol, and the date is written day/month/year instead of month/day/year? It seemed overwhelming at first.

The craziest part of it all, I was so stressed that I was going to fail. If I’ve learned one thing, I’d like it to be that the continual fear of failure robs me of joy. The sad part, I didn’t realize this until I after returning from Uganda. Now that I’m back on the ship, and know that I won’t fail, I have been able to let that fear go and things suddenly seem better. 

It may sound like I’ve had a horrible time here, but even there I would disagree. Yes, it’s been hard. A lot harder than I imagined it would be, but it’s also been a very unique experience. God has used this time and the people around me to challenge me, to make me stop and look at my attitude towards Him. Do I really trust Him as much as I say I do? How do I demonstrate that trust?

I like to be in control of my life, I want to know what the future holds. I need to be prepared. If anything, that need for control and fear of failure is something that makes my life miserable. There are countless times that I’ve heard the phrase, “nobody’s perfect,” but I’ve tried. I’ve tried to be perfect alone, in my own strength. It doesn’t work, plain and simple, I’m always going to fail. 

Even through the roller coaster of life on-board Africa Mercy, there are moments that have become highlights…these are just a few of my favorite highlights. ard Africa Mercy, there are moments that have become highlights…these are just a few of my favorite highlights.

Venturing out with friends

Holding some of the cutest babies...

...and then having them finally fall asleep in your arms after fighting to keep those heavy eyelids open 

Making the patients smile and laugh...even if it means you have to be just a little bit crazy :)

and the ever important...it's time to play! 

Watching some really amazing sunsets

I’m continually working on trusting God’s promises, the promise that he won’t leave me and  he won’t give me anything more than I can handle. My prayer as I walk the journey of faith and life is not only to release the fear of failure, but also continue to find those small moments of joy each day. 

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.

(Isaiah 43:2 ESV)