An update since my last blog, a few weeks ago it was pretty rough. Since then things have slowly started getting better. There are always going to be good days and bad days, but God is always there and amazing. Just when I think I can't take it anymore, there were a couple of people that really just sat down with me and listened to what I had to say. Sharing my inner struggles with those who are here and apparently go through the same thing has been extremely beneficial.
It's strange, but when your here sometimes you can feel so isolated and it seems as if you are the only person struggling. I'm finding that is often not the case and it's just being willing to be open and honest with each other and not judging another's struggle.
It reminds me of a discussion I had a young adult retreat several years ago, so often as Christians we try to hide our failures, our struggles because we should be able to handle it. God is greater than everything and he won't leave you...but what if He wants to work through those that are around you?
When I didn't want to share what was going on in my heart with those around me, I was miserable. God felt so far away and unreachable. In my head I knew He was still there. When it finally reached a point that I just couldn't carry this burden anymore I started talking with a girl I work with and randomly just started to share what was happening. I really don't even know how that happened, but it felt good. I was no longer by myself.
After that, I was able to share it with a few more people and somehow the burden that was weighing down my heart was slowly lifting. Then I was able to somehow not worry about it while I was working and able to make some of my patients smile. That touched my heart in a way that I never would have expected. It made me happy.
I think God used the people around me to encourage me, but until I opened up and shared what was happening they didn't know...I was keeping it hidden.
It's strange, but when your here sometimes you can feel so isolated and it seems as if you are the only person struggling. I'm finding that is often not the case and it's just being willing to be open and honest with each other and not judging another's struggle.
It reminds me of a discussion I had a young adult retreat several years ago, so often as Christians we try to hide our failures, our struggles because we should be able to handle it. God is greater than everything and he won't leave you...but what if He wants to work through those that are around you?
When I didn't want to share what was going on in my heart with those around me, I was miserable. God felt so far away and unreachable. In my head I knew He was still there. When it finally reached a point that I just couldn't carry this burden anymore I started talking with a girl I work with and randomly just started to share what was happening. I really don't even know how that happened, but it felt good. I was no longer by myself.
After that, I was able to share it with a few more people and somehow the burden that was weighing down my heart was slowly lifting. Then I was able to somehow not worry about it while I was working and able to make some of my patients smile. That touched my heart in a way that I never would have expected. It made me happy.
I think God used the people around me to encourage me, but until I opened up and shared what was happening they didn't know...I was keeping it hidden.
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