Picture Time! :)

It's been awhile since I've shared some pics...and so I think it's time to delicate another post to share what I've been doing. 

One of the weekly Mercy Ministries is going to a deaf school and having an art class...the 'teacher' will instruct while the rest of us move about the classroom assisting the kids...here I'm attempting to do repeat what the teacher was demonstrating...and no, I don't really have any artistic ability.  

A patient who wanted a picture

Sometimes we have dance parties at work...

Outside on deck 7...an ortho patient

The mama of one of our kids

Another patient...As you can see she has a great smile and was lots of  fun. 

 About the only other fun thing that I have done is an engine room tour. It was really interesting to learn about that aspect of the ship. There is a lot of hard work that happens down on deck 2! 

Hope you enjoyed the pics! 

An Overdue Update...

An update since my last blog, a few weeks ago it was pretty rough. Since then things have slowly started getting better. There are always going to be good days and bad days, but God is always there and amazing. Just when I think I can't take it anymore, there were a couple of people that really just sat down with me and listened to what I had to say. Sharing my inner struggles with those who are here and apparently go through the same thing has been extremely beneficial. 

It's strange, but when your here sometimes you can feel so isolated and it seems as if you are the only person struggling. I'm finding that is often not the case and it's just being willing to be open and honest with each other and not judging another's struggle. 

It reminds me of a discussion I had a young adult retreat several years ago, so often as Christians we try to hide our failures, our struggles because we should be able to handle it. God is greater than everything and he won't leave you...but what if He wants to work through those that are around you? 

When I didn't want to share what was going on in my heart with those around me, I was miserable. God felt so far away and unreachable. In my head I knew He was still there. When it finally reached a point that I just couldn't carry this burden anymore I started talking with a girl I work with and randomly just started to share what was happening. I really don't even know how that happened, but it felt good. I was no longer by myself.

After that, I was able to share it with a few more people and somehow the burden that was weighing down my heart was slowly lifting. Then I was able to somehow not worry about it while I was working and able to make some of my patients smile. That touched my heart in a way that I never would have expected. It made me happy. 

I think God used the people around me to encourage me, but until I opened up and shared what was happening they didn't know...I was keeping it hidden. 

2 months down - 7 more to go...

There are several things that have happened recently...making this last week the hardest week I've had here on the ship. To start all those that came in with me for 2 months have been leaving and so I find myself needed to make new friends. 

That doesn't sound like it would be hard when your living with 400+ people, but don't need to have 50-100 friends, all I want is a few really good friends. People that will be here throughout the field service with me, so I don't have to get to know someone and then say goodbye right away. Is that selfish of me?

The hardest part was that as people where preparing to leave and I realized that I am staying for a longer period of time I started thinking about leaving. Where would I go? Do I go home right away? Do I travel? Should I go home and then come back to travel? Which is the best option? How much are these options going to cost me? Which way is going to be the most cost effective because I don't have everything I want to travel with...

As I was thinking through all my options they started to overwhelm me and I couldn't stop thinking about them. It seemed as if I was going to go insane trying to figure this out. As all this was weighing on me, needless to say I'm pretty sure this last week I ended up overwhelmed and depressed. 

I was sleeping 12-13 hours a night, exhausted all the time, avoiding people, not hungry but eating because I knew I had to, and staying in my room when I wasn't working. Now, in case you don't know my room is dark, pitch black because there are no windows, the hospital is on the same floor meaning no windows there. Climbing 4 flights of stairs to get outside and into the sun sounded like to much effort. 

What ended up happening was a couple people I work with could tell that something was up, and they actually point-blank asked me, 'when was the last time you were outside?' I was honest, they didn't haul me outside, but really encouraged me to get out there.

Finally, Thursday afternoon I knew that I had to make some changes and so after I finally made it out of bed, I climbed the 4 flights of stairs to make it outside...then I even made it all the way to the top deck to sit by the pool. I was only out there for and hour, but it did feel good.

That evening after I ate an early dinner (slept through breakfast and lunch...) I went back outside to watch the sunset and read. With book and camera (in case the sunset was absolutely amazing) I climbed back up all 4 flights of stairs to make it outside.

While I was walking around on the top deck, I randomly started talking with someone who was sitting up there also watch the sunset. While we were talking she asked how I was adjusting to life here, and is it going well? As you heard, it obviously wasn't the most stellar week that I have had and so I was honest. She listened to what I had to say, and then said, it will get better and encouraged me. 

It was great, and then to top it off the sunset itself was pretty nice. I managed to take a couple of pictures. Somehow, I knew it was going to be okay and has been better since Thursday.

Yesterday, I was able to hang out with a newer arrival, (she's been here for a 2 weeks now) and it was fun. We also work on the same ward and next weekend we are on night shifts together...which means we have 4 nights to hang out in the ward and if everyone is sleeping then we get to chat. The best part is she is here for the rest of the field service.