I want to share something that God is doing in my life. A few people already know part of this, but I want to share this so hopefully you can be encouraged by God. Once it came time to leave the ship I wasn’t sure what to do next. I think that is part of the reason I decided to travel. That way I didn’t have to go back to work right away and I could see the world.
A couple of weeks ago, while I was in Pretoria, I received an email from one of my friends at home. To make a long story short, it was an email asking if I would like to join a church from home on a medical missions trip to Thailand in the middle of September.
Those of you who know me, know that I love Asia. My Asian friends like to say, ‘she loves all things Asian,’ or ‘she is more Asian then I am.’ Secretly, I’ve been wishing to do some type of humanitarian volunteer work in Asia. The door has never been open for me to go.
Now, this opportunity has presented itself and it feels like the right time. The more information I received the more I wanted to go, and the more excited I became. Then came an email saying, the main group will be staying for 2 weeks, but would you be interested in staying for 4 months with one of the other members that’s going?
As I read that, my gut reaction was, ‘yes, I’ll totally do that!’ and I was even more excited about this possibility. I said, “sure, I’ll go for the 4 months.”
I’m not 100% sure what all I will be doing, but I know that I will be staying at a school working as a nurse. I’m guessing I will also be doing community health things too. I’m going to be open and flexible, which I’m sure means I’ll be stretched beyond my imagination.
What I wasn’t expecting was the stretching part has already started!!! Once I said yes, I realized that this isn’t a paid position. I need to have my own funds to support myself. Suddenly, it all became overwhelming. Where is this money going to come from? Once I’m done with my current travel plans I won’t have money left, because I was thinking I would start working a paying job again. I really don’t know where it will come from, but I’m trusting that God will provide. The other night it was so overwhelming, that I just wanted to be alone and cry. There is so much to do when I get home, so much to figure out.
As I said in my last blog, I went to church with my friend which means I meet some people there. One of the girls that I meet asked if I wanted to join her for Open House. Basically, it’s a member of the church who opens their home for whoever wants to come join together for a meal and time of worship. It would have been so easy to say, ‘no, I just want to be alone.’ There was something in me that said, you should go. Now, I’m very glad that I went!
After eating, we started singing and worshiping God. Whoever felt led to read a scripture, pray, or speak something could. There were 2 things that where said that really made an impact. The first was that someone spoke out saying, ‘we can’t rely on the mana of yesterday, but we need to trust God and accept the mana of today.’
I’m struggling to figure out how to support myself, and found myself trying to keep a tight hold on the money that is in my bank account so that I have some saved up for Thailand. If I keep what I have, I need less later. I was holding onto it so tightly that everyday my thoughts were obsessed with money. I was putting it before God.
Later, someone else read Joshua 3. It’s about crossing the Jordan on dry land. As that was being read, I just started thinking. God hasn’t changed. If he can dry up a flooded river and bring down city walls, he can work out the money that I will need. He proved that he could do that when I served with Mercy Ships. Am I doubting He is able to do it again?
I’m not saying that I have it figured out, but I came to the conclusion that I need to hold loosely onto the things that I have, and trust God for the things that I need. Today is today, and tomorrow is tomorrow. I do not need the money for Thailand today, I will need it later. Surrendering it all to God and trusting is very hard. I did that last night, and I had to do it again this morning…and I’ll have to repeat it again tomorrow.