A Random Sunday Adventure: To Angola and Back!

Saturday evening was a sad day, that was when one of my new friends left the ship to return home. She was really cool, and a lot of fun to hang out with, plus we had lots of fun times!!! It's going to be hard to learn to make friends and then have to say goodbye...that's one part of this ship's life that I don't like. 

So on Sunday, there were 4 of us that decided to have an adventure. We wanted to go to the Angola border and back. We knew we wouldn't be able to cross the border, but we just wanted to see Angola. It only takes an hour to drive there from the port. 

We were suppose to meet up with one of our day-workers from the ship, but for some reason that didn't happen and so we left to find a taxi to drive us there. :) Negotiating a fair price can be somewhat challenging, especially when you have language difficulty's. Luckily for us we happened upon a day-worker who was able to find us a taxi, tell him where we wanted to go, and negotiate the price for us. 

We all (the 4 of us) piled in and headed to the border...

this was taken from the car window while driving 

Our taxi driver took us within 5-10 kilometers of the border but wouldn't take us any closer. He had stopped at a 'outdoor restaurant' (I'm not really sure what to call it.) There were several local people making fish to sell, and there were also tables and chairs set up under a pavilion/roof. 

We got out to walk around and 2 of the people in my group knew a little bit of French and so they started talking to one of the local grandma's and asked how much farther it was until the Angola border. 

She looked at us, and told us to get in her car and she would drive us there. We managed to tell our taxi driver to wait, that we would be coming back, and got in the car. She took us to the border and we were able to get out and walk up to the fence but didn't cross over into Angola. Now I can say I've seen it, but I haven't been there. The police wouldn't let us take pictures of Angola, so I don't have any to share, but really the best part of the day is what happened next anyway.

After we had seen the Angola, we got back into grandma's car and drove back to the restaurant where she worked. We decided to go ahead and get something to eat. While we were waiting for the food to cook, they allowed to walk around and watch what they were doing and take pictures. Also during that time, they allowed us to help/taught how to make whatever we were going to be eating. It turned into quite the adventure!!!

Before I share the pictures, some of you may wish to know (and will laugh), I didn't even make it a month before eating fish. Dinner was fish and fried banana's. The sad part is that I couldn't bring myself to try the banana's but I did eat several bites of fish before I had to stop. It wasn't that it tasted horrible, and in fact if I liked fish it would have tasted great. Small steps...

three of us sitting at the table with our taxi driver

the 4 of us who went with the 'grandma' that drove us to the border...
an interesting note, there are 5 different country's represented in this picture :)

cutting onions...funny, I do that in the states too

the fish and veggies (a few onions and peppers) would be wrapped in banana leaves

the final wrapped product, and it's ready to be placed on the coals

here are several meals cooking

this is what it looks like finished, and dumped onto your plate

I'm eating fish!!! 

a panoramic view of the restaurant 

After we finished eating, it was time to get back into the taxi and return to the port. Upon our return to the city, we asked to be dropped off at the beach, and went to the Chinese restaurant where we had something cold to drink while sitting on the outdoor patio watching the waves. It was after that, we decided to return to the ship.

That's the story of my random Sunday adventure...hope you enjoyed!! 




     

Life on a Ship

I know the last two blogs have been more serious, and for those of you who have sent encouraging notes, thank you, it really means a lot.

Enough about that, this blog post is going to focus more on what life is like on the ship.

Now that I've been here for 3 weeks I feel like I've started to adjust. The routine is pretty simple with a few variations. My days this week have been spent by working, eating, and sleeping. Some days there is more sleeping than anything else. 

Yes at first I was beginning to think that something was wrong with me, but I came to the conclusion that I'm still okay, but the first couple weeks were early mornings, late nights, and information overload every day!!! So now that it's into the 3rd week and I'm no longer receiving such large amounts of info it's time to rest and process which for me equals sleeping. 

I think the other side to that is there are always people around!!! It's almost impossible to find a place alone on the ship. That may be fine for some people, but I like my space. My cabin-mates are all cool and laid back so that is helpful. 

I'm living in a 6 birth cabin with 4 other people at this present moment. In the first 2 bed section one is the French teacher for the academy here on the ship and the other is an older woman (in her 60's) who works with hospitality. The hospitality department seems to do anything general ship related, giving tours to new crew members, making the bed before a new crew member arrives and I don't know what else.

The second 2 bunk section is where I am currently alone, until tomorrow...then there will be a nurse from Canada living with me...I'm hoping we get alone and can survive living in close quarters. If I'm completely honest I would say that's been my place to be alone. I can go to me cabin and pull the curtain and no one comes in to bother me...that's changing. 

In the last section of the cabin a writer and another nurse share that section. The nurse that lives there works in admissions and with that does more Monday through Friday type of work. Basically, she works on admitting the patients on the day they are suppose to arrive before there surgery. 

Needless to say it's an interesting mix in my cabin, but I must say that I kinda like it. It means that not everyone is talking about what is going on in the hospital. 

I claimed the top bunk!

Storage space :)

My half/side of the closet

This picture I found here in the ship shop for sale and loved it, so I got it to hang on my wall so it's not so empty!

That's my "room." For those of you who like dimensions, The bed is 6 ft long and maybe three feet wide, it's pretty small. As you can see the head of my bed is one wall, and the foot of the bed is the opposite wall. The closet is against the wall on the right and there is maybe 6 inches between the closet and the bed, then another six inches between the curtain and the other side of the closet. It's a good thing that I didn't bring much!!! I'm not sure where else I could put anything. 

There are times that we do get to have lots of fun. Earlier this week we had a hospital open house for people who don't work in the hospital to come down and see what we do. One of the wards was empty and so we had 5 nurses dress up as patients and then people could pretend/be a nurse for a shift. There was much laughter to be had. Since I was a patient I didn't get to see all the other stations that were set up, but here's what it looked like in the "ward."

There are no 'private' rooms, the ward is a row of beds with patients as you can see here, and if the patient is under the age of 18 they must have a caregiver stay with them...which means, there is a mattress under the bed where the caregiver sleeps. In other words, it's just a little different from the hospitals at home. 

As you can see I had surgery done on my face...now to make it realistic for if people wanted to change my dressing, there was mustard and ketchup underneath the dressing to make it look like blood and pus...apparently, no one was excited about doing a dressing change, because it stayed there until the end of the open house (for and hour and a half). By the end, I was ready to have it off because it was starting to feel gross and then I wondered if that's what my patients feel like with a saturated dressing...doesn't feel pleasant!!!!  

Now that you gotten a little peek into life on the ship I must wrap this post up. Lunch is being served in the dinning room right now, and if I would like something to eat I need to head there soon...
Breakfast: Monday - Friday 6:30-7:30
Lunch: Monday - Friday 11:30 - 1:00
Dinner: Monday - Friday 5:00 - 6:30

On the weekend or Saturday and Sunday:
Breakfast is from 7:30 - 9:00 and you must pack a lunch, because lunch isn't served on the weekends
Dinner is at the same time as the rest of the week: 5-6:30

I'm not use to eating at those times, so it's been interesting. The food is good, but after awhile, it starts to taste like cafeteria food and you don't get to choose what you eat, except from the options of what they have. 

There is always the option of getting a group of friends together and going out to eat at a local restaurant. Apparently, there is a decent Chinese place around here that I haven't tried yet...but I plan on checking it out sometime!!!
         

Screening Day

Here's a little more about screening day. I was at the history station, that meant I took vitals, and asked the 8 designated questions on the form that they were given. After asking those questions for 12 hours...I thought I was going to be asking them in my sleep that night!!!

The one thing I really struggled with was the time I was allowed and the expectations. Before screening day, those who have done it before said they 'love it' or 'it's the best day of the whole field service.' We were also told to see the person and not the disease or deformity, which I was fine with. 

Before the day, we would pray together and a lot of times it was prayed that the patients who came would feel the love of Jesus, fabulous. When your stuck in one room asking 8 personal questions to complete strangers, and told to do as fast as possible how do you show love in that situation? Is it a simple touch, a smile, a compliment? I don't know...and that's what was so hard. I know psychically I was there and that helped, but was that all I did that day? Then when I here other share about different people they meet and are excited to see again as patients...that didn't happen for me. 

I think that's what kicked off this realization that I have more walls to protect my heart than I thought. I wish I could say that they are gone and I'm no longer struggling with that, but I can't. It's been a daily struggle, and some-days its not easy. 

I finally have access to some pictures that were taken my the Mercy Ships Communications Team which I am able to share with you. 

Screening Day in Pointe Noire - August 2013

Last week, my first day in the ward was on Tuesday and surgery started Monday. One of my patients was a 6 year old who had a cleft lip repaired and was doing so well that I got to discharge him Tuesday morning. That makes it seem really simple, but yet it will make a huge difference for him. 

Emotions or Robot?

This may sound crazy to some, but I wanted to share what I've been thinking about the last couple of days. I'm don't have it all figured out yet.

I know earlier I mentioned screening day (this last Wednesday). Well I want to tell you more about it, and how it affected me. Screening day is when people line up in hopes that we will be able to help them. There were 7,354 people that came to see us and 4,236 actually came through the gate and the line was open for 12 hours and 20 minutes. Of those 4,000 I don't know the final numbers on how many were accepted for surgery...but I do know, it was a very long day and by the end I was completely exhausted!!! 

That night I really wasn't able to process what happened earlier that day, or even how I felt. Thursday afternoon, I took some time and sat by myself just thinking and trying to journal. The following excerpt from my journal explains how I was feeling. 

         "There are so many emotions, and like always I just want them to go away. Emotions hurt. Everyone here seems so full of love and compassion while I feel devoid of emotion. I don't know if I can open up and love on patients. It almost feels as if I'm trapped in my own emotionless prison."

There were a lot of thought going through my mind, I wasn't sure how to open up, how to love. If anything I put up walls and keep people out. It's only been the last couple of years that I started letting go of the walls, but now I know there are some left. I felt so empty, how can I love the way Christ loved, when I have nothing? 

Right about that time, one of the nurses (who will actually be my charge nurse) walked out onto the deck and as she walked up to me she asked, 'quiet time?' I'm not sure what expression was on my face, because she then proceeded to ask me 'are you okay?' right away and the second she said that I lost it and started crying. 

For those of you who know me well, I don't cry, and if I do it takes a lot to make me cry. I couldn't control my emotions and I sat there with tears rolling down my face saying, 'how do I love? I feel so empty?' 

As she sat next to me, she looked at me and said, 'you're in the best place. When you know that you're empty God can come in and fill you with his love.' I thought about that for awhile, okay, several days and realized that I truly have built myself into an emotionless prison because when it hurts, it really hurts. What I came to realize was that, I've also robbed myself of feeling love, joy, and all the good emotions just to keep away the pain of potentially being hurt. 

This is kind of scary, OK I'm terrified but I've asked God to help me take down the rest of the walls, and to fill me with his love. It's going to be a challenge, and so I would also ask that you pray those walls will come down and that God's love would replace the emptiness.